thank you both. I am seeing a therapist. I see her on wed. I have a pdoc, who has upped some of my meds...*sigh* nothing helps anymore. I thought I was better, but I am not. I am too far gone. Now I must just exsist. I don't have time to go to a hospital...I know they would admit me...and then I would miss school..and fail all my classes...and so on. so, i'll just keep droning on...anyway. I have school tomorrow so I should be going. thanks again.

[b] I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid, I used to be somebody, I used to have something inside now it's just this hole that's open wide, I'll cross my heart I'll hope to die, but the needle's already in my eye, what I used to think was me is just a fading memory....--NIN [b]