[QUOTE=3rdTimesTheCharm;2049350]
Can you write a note to give to her that says just what you said here? Print your post out and take it to her? I just think saying it the way you said it here is just so important to say to her. I think it will help you, and help her help you.

/QUOTE]

Why is the thought of printing out this thread so terrifying? I want to feel better so I should be open and honest with T about what I am feeling. But...I want to hide. I'm afraid of what T will think of me if I let her in.

I have a couple of pictures in my purse that I pulled out earlier this week, thinking that maybe I could show them to her. The first is a picture of my children right before I left for the final time. My oldest is so beaten down and sad she isn't looking at the camera. My second oldest has her arms protectively around her younger brother and sister. I think this picture captures the pain and scariness of this time very well.

The other picture was taken almost 5 years ago, after I left. I'm in the living room of my own home, safe, surrounded by my childhood friends, with all of our kids. It's a great picture. Full of life and happiness.

What do you guys think? I don't know why, but I think I might like to show her these pictures. Maybe to show her where I have been?