i guess this desire to just blow just about everything up in my life and change it all up because i need to do something could be a big distraction and a temporary quick fix.kind of a knee jerk reaction to how badley i am feeling.i never really thought of that.i guess i always look at my unhappiness as external and that if i change what is around me it will change my reactions and unhappiness.very wise insight on your T's part but MUE i'm with you how in the world do we find this path because it seems to me any path i take these days is one of complete and total distruction