Well, there's one other element in this approach I'm thinking of taking. Last week I was feeling very strong and clear and told T I thought I might be done with therapy. It was a surprise to me and to her that I could even bring up such a radical concept.

And now,I'm supposed to go in today and show how stupid I was last week. That's humiliating. I want to continue to show my strength and not give her any inkling that I'm worried I may revert to that pathetic weak needy person I was in July.

And I don't know if I will return to that needy state of mind; I am only feeling a slight twinge of neediness now -not full-blown. I want to keep my strong stance and if I don't give in to the feelings of weakness I can stay strong.

I want T to see me as strong, not weak and needy. At least for the next month. I'm willing to revert to neediness in December when she'll be there for me.