I feel the same way a lot of the time and can relate to the push away come close dynamic. Just this week my T said that the messages I received as a child I have internalized and taken on as my own. Has me wondering today if I really am too much for everyone or was just too much for the folks who were around when I was a child. I then believed them and now think I am too dependent, too this and too that when maybe it's not true. Could the parent we adored really not handle my needs as a child well that's hard to think about but maybe it's true too, who knows. If we get the message long enough we take it on as being our truth. Maybe it is true that my needs are too great too. Therapy does help sort this kind of thing out