Okay - so you all agree that I'm avoiding. I agree also. Does avoidance come with a cost? Sure - you aren't authentic and real and have to keep defenses up to keep the pain at bay.

The alternative, I guess, is to just throw myself into the pain and buck up.

Oh, hankster - sure I forget stuff. But,man, this was super important and to have it forgotten is like the worst abandonment. What am I supposed to do - just think, 'oh, well, abandoned again. So what? same-old; same-old, just get used to it. It's the norm for your life. Accept it. What else can you expect? No one ever cares anyway." Or dive into the self pity party and cry my eyes out? Or maybe, the armadillo way is best. Be tough, be strong, don't let your guard down or f**k it, you're gonna get slammed big time.