I think the crying is probably coming so much because you kept so much inside for so long that when you left & knew you were in a safe place with your friend, the flood gates opened. In a way this is good because of all the emotions you have had penned up inside.....they were bound to come out somehow & this is really the safest & best way for you to express those emotions.

It is good that you have been able to get away even though you don't feel it....getting away from a difficult situation is actually one of the best ways to deal with a crisis situation (distressful situation) we are in. Calling your mom every day isn't a problem...it's good to know she's ok....but the rest of the time, let your self just be. It sounds like your friend is very supportive & is validating your feelings.....what better surrounding could you ask for even if you feel you are dumping on her.....sometimes life just puts us into that kind of situation & we just have to deal with it....not like it's a permanent condition even though it may feel like it at the time.

I think we are programmed to think that all vacations are to be fun & relaxation...but sometimes vacations are just to get away & let ourselves just be what we need to be at the time & get rid of the expectations.....it's just what you need at this time in your life...a time to just let out those emotions without feeling guilty & allow yourself to be yourself at this moment.....what & who you need to be to express all the pain & struggles that have been penned up for so long.

I know I was in a tough situation at work back in 1993.....Christmas vacation I thought would help....time away from work, I could go back & not feel the horrible way I was feeling about the position I was in. All I did was sit at home & cry over that holiday vacation & when the first of the year came, I couldn't go back to work....the anxiety made me so sick, I couldn't get myself to go back & kept calling in sick.....in my case, I never was able to go back to work....but the point was that the vacation was desperately needed to let out all the emotions that were running through me & there is nothing wrong with allowing yourself the freedom to feel & hopefully you will get a bit of energy to survive what you are dreading going back to.