Can you think of it from her point of view???? An arranged marriage & you treated her rudely the first days of your marriage......what in the world do you think you were telling her.....how much you loved her? Remember, actions speak louder than words & your rude actions told her that you didn't love her & that she meant nothing to you.
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I have never loved any girl in my life
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I wonder if you really do love her or if you are just in love with having the marriage relationship & the perks that go along with it, but NOT REALLY HER. I am sure by the way you treated her when you were first married that she would wonder the same thing.
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I am still begging her to come back to me and have agreed to all her conditions, but she seems to be stuck in the past and says she cannot get back to me.
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The thing is that verbally agreeing to her conditions doesn't show any change of action.....we can agree to a lot of things but may not be able to mentally or emotionally be able to meet the conditions & I'm thinking she must be having those doubts or she wouldn't be so adamant about the divorce.
I think what you can best do for yourself is to realize the truth about the relationship.....it was arranged & neither of you were really into being married to each other. Kind of sounds like you really wanted to be married at your age (family pressure or whatever) & she was the convenient one for the arrangement without any emotional involvement. Relationships like that very rarely work out.....so there is really nothing embarrassing about it......it's not like you had a long love relationship before you got married & it doesn't sound like there are really any REAL emotional ties that are being broken.
Sometimes the best thing we can get from a relationship is to analyze it & understand what the problem was (no love to base the marriage on in the first place) & learn for possibly the next time if you really meet someone that you are both attracted to each other. One way relationships don't work either.
Put this marriage behind you, knowing that arranged marriages aren't the answer for you & be happy with your life as it is.....then if you find the perfect match. Wishing you the best through all this difficult time you need to sort through the reality of your situation.
Be well