Hi Everyone,
I have wonderful news! I get to keep seeing my T. I was able to get a new job. I am so happy. This takes a massive weight off of my shoulders. I was so distraught in our last session. Now it feels like I was totally over reacting. And not being able to use any logical thinking. But at the same time it felt like my world was falling apart. When I was able to start thinking about it I felt like I was going numb to my feelings. I don't think that being numb to it is a good thing necessarily either. I feel like this is something like the 'wise' mind that is talked about in DBT. But in some situations like this I get so overwhelmed I can't do it. Whereas other times I can do it. I feel so embarrassed that I am going to have to go back into T and tell her that everything is okay. I feel totally embarrassed about falling apart over this last session.

The other issue is that I feel like I don't know what is normal. I have spent so many years suppressing my emotions as a way to deal with them, I don't know if what I am experiencing is what others experience normally and it just seems so overwhelming because I'm not used to it, or if I was totally off the deep end with being so overwhelmed. I think this is because I had to suppress my emotions so much as a kid. Does anyone else experience this? I felt like I was on a total roller coaster. Now I just feel somewhat okay, but mostly numb. What do I do about this?