Started EMDR a few weeks back, Its quite hard to explain, but its generally used for PTSD, its all about rapid eye movements and processing memories.
So anyway, the first one was hard and it was upsetting, but i got over it.
Then the second time i went i was too distressed to really do anything but we did some simple stuff.
Third time, i was dealing with some childhood abuse stuff, so it was upsetting but not depressing, i was ok when i left, and had been 'ok,' until yesterday.
The last week hasnt been great, just below normal, been a little irritated, but nothing major.
Yesterday i arrived at my EMDR session and i was fairly happy and normal, by the end of it, i was in floods of tears, she had to drive me to work, because i was practically suicidal, i'd been bottling stuff up, dissociating, not letting myself think about anything upsetting and, then it just flooded my system and now i'm left feeling absolutely shocking.
I dont want to go to work tomorrow, i just want to sit in my bed and cry forever, i am so confused and angry and i am feeling too much emotion to able to deal with.
i cant cope with life, with all this going on, so now i regret going to therapy and dont want to go again, but they keep telling me i must, to get this all out of system and work through it, but at the end of the day even when i finish i'm still going to be mental so there's no point really.
I havent taken my Lamictal today, one day wont hurt but i dont see the point in taking that either right now. I'm just not in the mood to take it.