I truly think that emailing a therapist is very individual. Some struggle with their therapist's response, interpreting the response (rightly or in a distorted way, as less than what they need or want). But some email their therapist to communicate something they weren't able to discuss or articulate in their session. I think it is very individual in each an every case. And I truly believe that this conversation about what we need and how it might NOT meet our needs is important. I'm not saying that we will get what we believe we need. Quite the contrary. . . sometimes what we BELIEVE we need is distorted and out of wack. But talking about it and processing it, is critical.

I know that I am in the latter group. I love being able to send my therapist a response to a session, or at some point in the week when something strikes me as critical to my process of therapy, I want to send her an email to discuss my thoughts. I usually mention to my therapist that she doesn't need to respond, but she usually does anyway. But in all truthfulness it is more often than not a comment about us discussing the topic in our next session. This has never bothered me or seemed less than what I needed. That said, I truly get that not everyone feels this way or interpretes their therapist's response as helpful or significant. This is at the heart of everyone's issue of emailing. Each of us will do it and interprete it in a different way. And if our therapist's are in tune and aware of what goes into the issue of emailing, she/he will be ready and willing to discuss it . . . and that means for as long and as indepth as we need to discuss it.

I believe that each client and their therapist needs to work this out in their sessions. I know that sounds too simple, but I truly believe that it is a critical process . .. even if the therapist tells a client that she doesn't "do emailing". The conversation of whether or not that is a "deal breaker" for the client or the therapist is important (and that goes for out of session phone calls too!). All of us, and not just us who need psychotherapy, need to learn now to negotiate life's difficult in's and out's. This is just one small place for us to practice that skill.

I work in a school and we have to work on pre-correction for children with behavioral and academic difficulties. It's a way for us to teach and practice with children the skills that they missed or never were taught. Guess what? Many of us with mental health issues missed or were absent for those life lessons. Our therapist's job is to help us with those pre-correction behaviors. Not in a childish or baby way, but in a way that allow us to express our difficulties with certain behaviors and to find ways to get our very real needs met!