Maybe there's a problem with approach......when we do all the trying without the asking then we are trying to take the control. We are promised that our needs will be met if we only ask......it's obvious that what you are asking for isn't the answer God wants to give. Give as much energy to asking to be provided with opportunities & then be willing to listen to the answer & follow the guidance even if it isn't what you want......remember, God's usually has nothing to do with what we want or are willing to do....I'm sure you are quite aware of all the examples of that fact.

Getting the sense at this point that it has to be JD's will & not God's at this point.......sounds like God is doing some work with you to try to get you to listen to him instead of yourself. Remember, he knows your heart & when he knows your heart is willing to listen.....he will provide.

I understand how we definitely get into a place of feeling sorry for ourselves & the condition we find ourselves in.......but what we need to do is accept where we are & do the best we can with what we are given.

I have been cutting down my social activities....mostly due to money....I don't even have enough money to pay for enough gas for my truck to last the month through.....so by the end of the month I find myself sitting at home just watching things happen around me. I definitely understand pain also.....after fracturing my back earlier this year, I am not able to do all the things I am used to doing because when I do too much it takes me several days to recover.....sadly, that even included the fun longer trail rides that I have been doing for the last 4 years. There are things that I know that are necessary for my spiritual growth however & I make sure that I am involved for as much of the month as possible in those things that WE are directed to be involved in.

I agree that there are some people that it's wise for us to not be around....it's important to be aware of conflicting personalities....but we do need to be careful that we aren't JUDGING others without using God's standards & not our own personal prejudices. I understand that this can definitely happen within some of the groups.....there was a lady that took over the president position & I felt like I was back in junior high with her petty behavior......when actions don't match words....that is definitely time to be discerning......which is the wise thing to do. However, we need to make sure that is where our decisions are really coming from. It's very easy to get our feelings hurt & then judge people based on our emotions rather on the fact that their motives really weren't being addressed against us.

I must admit that when we are made to feel at home, that warm feeling is very obvious to recognize.......I know that most of the groups that I am involved with have made me feel like family.....however one sunday, they cancelled the service because the heater was broken in the middle of winter & it was snowy & icy.....but no one called me even though they called everyone else. I could have taken that situation very personal......but I knew that the person doing the calling didn't have my cell phone number....can't hold something against someone when they couldn't have possibly included me....it's important to be able to analyse the situation logically before jumping to conclusions. Know that jumping to conclusions is the most easy reaction....but but it usually only ends up hurting ourselves & no one else. Ah, the topic from my DBT group last week....."cutting off your nose to spite your face".....how easy it is for us to get caught up in that behavior & then feel that everyone else is against us.

Know it's hard when our emotional mind is in control to allow our rational mind to even have a say in our life.....but it's a very important part of our decision making process.

Hope that your rational mind will kick in soon so that you can get back into understanding of what your purpose is. The more we blame our condition for our situation, the more unhappy we grow & when that happens, we know it's not coming from God.

sending you & caring 's