Good really, your on the right track, maybe your commander will miss you, but you truely can't worry about him, you have to just take care of you. Your commander will understand one day when the day comes when it has been enough for him too and that day will come, in fact he may be hiding it now.

And the memory issue is partly due to the PTSD, your brain is saying enough and you have to listen to that and your right, you have to take care of your family and you are part of that family. And a Pariah your not, you hung in there and did enough and you know what? There may be another guy that stays because he too is too afraid to speak up.

And I have to be honest, PTSD does have a side of it that makes a person feel guilty and even somewhat disappointed. But always remember it is not you, you have a human brain that has been telling you enough and there is no shame in that, you really need to listen and take care of you.

And keep coming here and let us all know how your doing, and even you need to vent because part of letting go is also letting go of the anger too. So we are here and listening and even saying prayers for you.

Open Eyes