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I'd like to ask Rainbow again how satisfying it is to be emailing T. Does the satisfaction come from her replies or do you gain satisfaction from being able to share your feelings in the moment?
And do her replies always satisfy? I would hate to put out a heartfelt email to T and then get a standard response. Actually, the therapy seems to be the feelings generated by being in the same room. If you took what my T said to me today and transcribed them into written words, they would have little influence or power for me. But that she is there looking at me and me looking at her and the give and take between us in real time is what makes, for me, the therapeutic process work.
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skysblue: I needed to see it all to answer you. The satisfaction used to come from both: being able to share my feelings as they happen, AND from my T's replies. The problem began when her replies DID NOT satisfy me, when she missed something important, or didn't comment on a feeling I thought was crucial. Then I became frustrated, angry, and disappointed. That's when she decided she couldn't do therapy via email and said she would write something positive and brief no matter how many times or what the content of my emails were. I hated that even though at least I knew what to expect. Sometimes, though, she'd slip up and comment more than other times. So, my feelings were up and down all the time, based on that 1 email per week! Not good!!
There is still satisfaction from my knowing that she is reading what I feel about the session, for what I write is usually about the session. I seem to think she has to know right away!! It's urgent! I have to learn that it isn't urgent. I think what helped this session is that I thought about and told her what I felt before I left, when we had time to resolve it. Last week I didn't do that so I had to send her a rude email. Or thought I had to, anyway.
Yes, I agree that it's the being there in the room with your T that makes all the difference. A written transcript just wouldn't do. It's the connection between the two of you that makes it work.
