Well, I am stubborn. I string together a few weeks of great productiveness and I hate then to mess with success. You know the thinking, "If I can only keep doing this, and so on." And I have tried a bunch of meds, with very limited success. And I've got the example of my mother who tried every damned med in the book until 20+ yrs on she finally found a cocktail that would help her through the day (and a decent doc to supervise). Not very inspiring precedents. And now, for the last yr and a half, for the first time in my adult life, there's no health insurance. I know it sounds like a bunch of excuses but I was determined to go the non-meds route long before my insurance ran out.

But I am in full agreement with regard to addressing the alcohol problem, which means also addressing the isolating problem, that is, trying to keep my probs from others by staying out of their lives, thereby compounding my own probs. I've been to AA until recently and will try to go back;I have a mixed reaction to its cultishness and overtly Christian overtones (I'm Buddhist).

All of the above may make me sound like a colossal snob but the truth is I'm very open, that's why I'm here. And I'd be very interested still to hear from anyone who has put effort into cognitive work and to listen to a discussion of any techniques which have been beneficial. Thanks to all.