Because in a sense, skyblue, you are a baby or child when it comes to negotiating relationships. . . and I don't say that to be insulting. Take a minute and think about a young child and her mother--the child clings to her mom when she's in new or unfamiliar territory. She feels "held", safe and secure. But at some point, the child begins to venture out or move away from her mom because she's feeling more confident and adventurous--she wants to explore and be independent. But then, if she goes too far, she looks around frantically for her mom, and when she spies her, the child comes running back to her mom to be soothed and reassured. She gets refilled with confidence. . . and then, when she has her fill, she ventures out again. In some ways, I think that's what our therapists provide for us--a secure base.

I do believe that our society frowns on adults having any need for dependency on another. Somehow we've made it a nasty word. In the U.S. we've always prided ourselves on being of "pioneer stock". The idea of needing someone or being vulnerable is not really admired. But it's an unrealistic, false way of seeing ourselves. Everyone needs and benefits from having connections and support. Now if I could only stop being ashamed of my own dependency needs

Glad to hear that you're taking your therapist up on her offer of support!