Jaybird - you're exactly right. I've even preached the gospel of the advantage of dependency on T. But, like most of us have experienced, it is very uncomfortable. Out in the 'real' world, I am a professional woman with lots of responsibilities and I must guide and lead others. Being strong and clear is imperative.

And, of course, if one's personal history does not give one any experience of having supportive community, then one's whole life is striving for independence. Showing any dependency has resulted in lots of pain, so why even consider showing your weak needy side.

But with T we can do that, experience some pain, know that rejection and abandonment will not occur, and thereby learn one's 'real' strengths on how to negotiate life better. And the negotiation will come from a solid sense of oneself. Knowing when to be vulnerable, knowing when to be tough - and all of that without needing to put up a huge wall between oneself and the rest of the world. This, I think, is (for me) a goal in therapy, I'm just realizing.