How do you possibly explain to someone how it feels to have Bipolar if they've never been through it themselves? Last night I think I finally pushed away my boyfriend. We were only together for three months and he's broken up with me a few times out of frustration, not knowing what else to do but I'm pretty sure last night was the last straw. He says I overreact too much and it stresses him out because he has alot on his plate right now. I know I've been unstable for a while because I went off the lithium and abilify the doctor prescribed me because I thought I could cope on my own, the only two medications to work for me out of the thirty-something others I've taken. I went off them two years ago and it's been a downward spiral since. He messaged me telling me that I needed to take care of myself or I was going to push him away forever and that I need more confidence. I left three messages on his answering machine crying and freaking out so bad I don't even think I made sense. It makes me so depressed because just yesterday I told my doctor I wanted to go back on the lithium and he was patient and understanding for so long. He's such an awesome person and I feel like I ruined it. If he contacts me how do I explain?