I can't read and comprehend everything being written, but I will keep rereading until I can.

I am not comfortable with people in my home, not since the injury (25 years!) however I did more than my share of entertaining the previous 26 years.

I can't lead anything. If I am consistent it's in being inconsistent.

Probably everything listed as to what is/are my problems and how I got there are true. It doesn't matter. I've been working hard in therapy to counter everything... it's like the injury undid everything I had "solved" and "resolved" as to negative aspects and dumped them all out on the mind's floor... and nothing has been fully resolved again.

You've made my points: here I am where I am, regardless of why in one sense, because of all the effort and learning and doing to escape the results ... here I am... like this, feeling like I am... probably the greatest reason for my despair.

God loves me, yes.