((((tohelpafriend))))),
Oh I am sorry your still struggling, how awful you had to deal with such a strange presence that you really had no way of knowing the reality of it, how hard that is to get past and even find a way to trust again, I truely cannot blame you for that. And unfortunately I can truely identify with it as well, all of it down to the spec of wondering how to reach out and even begin to trust or even be understood. Misunderstood is the ongoing dilemma of PTSD, not only by others but by ourselves.

As far as that sense of a clique and lost feeling of how to connect around it, that too sadly is a symptom of PTSD, very hard to stop that sense of wondering who will either hurt you next or even reject you some how next. Believe me your truely not alone in that and there is a strong undertow of that emotion being expressed within this thread. And if you take the time to look back in this thread eskielover has expressed her own ways of learning how to protect herself from running to that trend of thought through DBT therapy. And she has really explained that constant battle that she is becoming aware of this fact. It will be an ongoing effort on her part to learn the tools needed to help her look beyond the PTSD worries and constant assumptions easily presented to a better way of learning how to react to the messages received to her by the actions and expressions of others.

Oh it is very hard to understand the line between learning about the bad parts of other humans that always seem to catch us off guard, and find new ways to help ourselves get beyond that to somehow trusting again.

Open Eyes We all need to continue supporting each other with lots of hugs and understanding.