I didn't know there was such as thing a DPD; but it makes sense. What needs went unmet in our childhoods do have a tendency to repeat their unresolved scenarios in present circumstances and toxic people; you sound like you did learn the lesson and can learn to identify the toxic people who plain just don't care. My study of schema therapy and "Reinventing Your Life" by Dr. Jeffrey Young really helped me to see how emotional deprivation (abuse) from parents in the early years, people who were not available or didn't find the time to listen or care, can play out in our later years. Identifying our trigger schemas, (or life traps), this psychologist explains, can lead us into having the ability to avoid the traps and confide in emotionally available people, especially in romantic interest.
Good luck with moving on and growing, belli: Churches can be the worst places for abusers, I've learned, especially the married women who have contempt or jealousy for single women and try to make them feel inadequate sometimes. There are all kinds of hypocrites in church; maybe church is their hiding place? I avoid church now; I'd rather hang out with a street addict, though I don't know any!!