Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop
I don't know why I do this or feel this way .... but there is a part of me that has an intense need to be okay for my T. I know I'm not okay... but there are parts of me that feel I have to hide that from my T. That I down play how I feel about things... oh I'll say the facts but don't show the emotion... like it would be too much or I would be a disappointment .... Logically I know its not productive or helpful but the logical part of me has no control once I walk in that room..
Does anyone else ever feel that way?
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Yep - me too. This is a real problem for me, and I think about it all the time. My reason is that I don't want to be/appear vulnerable, because I don't trust completely that my T won't hurt me in some way. Not sure how ... laugh at me? Ridicule me? And I would be defenseless.
I don't feel a need to appear OK, because both he and I know that I'm "broken" in some ways. But the vulnerability is at the core for me. Does that ring a bell with you at all, or do you think you've got something different going on?