I feel like a herd of trucks ran me over 15 times ,, I hurt really bad as i expected .. I HAVE to learn how to Pace myself ... I was awake most of the night from the pain . so when i dont get the sleep i get " stupid" this time im very aware of how im feeling ,, Im having some auditory Hallucinating and seeing things that arent there , altho they are scarey as all get out ,,I at this point KNOW they arent real... SO all i plan to do Is use the coping skills i have learned in therapy ....... I want to isolate myself and hide from the world which I know is NOT a good thing ,,,,, Im also fighting the huge urge to SI .which this is all typical ( i have seen this pattern in my Bopolar before and abot half the time i get so bad i wind up checking into the psych ward .. But I have been there 3 times this year and i really dont want it to be a 4th time ...

Im just going to try and roll with the punches and for once really honest to god put ME first and try to hold it all together

Wsihing you peace and Love ~