Hi- it's my first day here. I joined after feeling like I have no where else to go. I am in a mixed state after beginning a new med. about a week ago that put me into a manic state and now trying to stop the manic cycle by reducing the dose. Yes, I am doing this with a health care professional, who is actually making it harder. I am scared and sad and desperate and tired and energized all at the same time, and I need help. I don't know where to get it. I am alone in this, as I suspect we all are. I am 42 years old, married, and a mom to a beautiful 6 year old son that does not deserve a mom like me. I'm so sick of struggling every single day, like running in sand. I spoke to my dr. a few hours ago and he got angry and basically hung up the phone on me. My husband is asleep because of a cold. My mom is dead, my dad thousands of miles away and told me not to start this s... again. My friends are busy. My son is here, but he's 6. I'm scared.