Welcome, Nacht,

I like your poem.

I agree with Porcupine2. Use whatever resources you can find.

Call your local crisis center or helpline and see if there is a free bipolar group that meets in your area. You may be happily surprised. I have been going through an awful time for several months and was shocked to find that there's a free group near me. It meets only twice per month, but that's something. I was so relieved to find a teeny bit of hope to hang on to.