Update:

Had session tonight...I used the tapdancing and avoidance and other stuff from all of your posts to explain to my T. the things that go on in my head during session and how frustrating it is..

He understood and instead of asking me what we were going to talk about...he decided we are going to pick a feeling and then talk about a time either in past or recently that I had felt that way. Of course he picked "scared" ... But this switch in thinking....this starting with a feeling and then talking about a time I felt that way has really helped.... I was able to talk about a small glimpse of a memory (have dissociative amnesia prior to age 12) that I had where I knew I felt very scared...I don't know what actually happened in the end because I can't "see" the whole incident...

And somehow my T. was able to help me see how all of that ties into my inability to handle suspensefull situations even in TV and movies.. about how it is a trigger and how my responses were PTSD related....

My T. even noticed that I started to dissociate and was able to catch it early....and bring me right back... it was very productive session.

Thanks again for all of your insights and your willingness to share your experiences to help me.....that means so much