I could have written this.

My T asked me last night why I smile and say I'm doing fine when she can see past it and knows how depressed I am. I told her it was a habit.

For me, being sad or angry was wrong. I was always told no one cares to hear about your problems or bad feelings. Smile and say you're doing good, even if you're not. I found that when I was depressed and was isolating I felt like no one cared, so I would put on a big smile and then I felt like I was an okay person.