hello 2much2little, i kinda agree with willcat's advice 2u... In this situation, staying away from potential 'triggers' and changing ur enviroment is the place to start if ur not going to seek professional help or confide in a parent(s). Then again, if you dont get professioal help now this may come back to haunt you at another major stepping stone in your life...like getting married or becoming a parent or when life gets you down. Learning coping mechanisms while your young is easier than trying to learn them 20yrs down the track when one has a lot more baggage to carry & possibly a lot more mental health problems to sieve thru. It becomes a jungle out there & the beasts (drugs) mange to find the vulnerable! A few weeks away from ur cousins and/or triggers will give u the head start u need to get urself into the marines/army if of course this is what u really want. Stay strong ay?