I'm not at all happy with my body and I feel like I'm fat and disgusting etc. so recently I started restricting myself a bit by either not eating when I'm hungry for snacks, or by eating ice since there are no calories. I know that this is not a good path to go down, and my therapist is taking it very seriously. I started an even stricter diet earlier this week because after I felt even worse about myself (I went to a ballet class and all I could focus on was how fat gross I looked in my leotard and tights)...

Today my therapist asked me today how much I eat and I told her sometimes it's 3 meals a day and sometimes it's 1 it all depends. She asked what I ate today and I told her: a Special K bar. She asked if I bought it because it's only a certain amount of limited calories, and my answer was yes. I know this isn't good, but I can't help it.

It's just awful. Every time I look at myself I see something awful. I've never been so unhappy with myself in my life.