bahumbug! Ok so this year i'm a little better with this birthday deal. I've said it's an awesome day but i've also called it an evil day lol.
In the past i've been quite depressed but i'm starting to think that isn't mine maybe my mom's like i wrote about in the depression forum i enjoyed the two that posted in it our conversation on it cause it got me to thinking on stuff more but today i still feel empty at times, geez i have to admit something some where, cause it's bothering me. My boyfriend tried to suprise me w/ what he was going to get me today. We lost our cat last may & i've been upset about that for a bit & miss the cat, my bf was going to get a kitten from the shelter today. I first told him no- i don't want to lose another cat it hurts so bad i'm sorry if that sounds childish. But he looked at me & explained he knows i want one i miss our last one & this kitty will stay inside & it'll be ok. We have an anxiety dog which i love too but he's a handful at times. Anywho i mention dog for That's why i had to stay home, my bf wanted to me to go with him though. So my bf leaves i'm all in time like in my head trying to sabotage this plan of getting a cat, idk why either. It doesn't make me feel good cuz i love cats & i this i do think is so sweet of my boyfriend to do but i did find something. We never told the apt ppl we lost our last cat & my boyfriend can't just get a cat- there's a process to getting a cat from a shelter. My boyfriend called me oddly & i mention it all of we need to tell apt ppl & your not going to walk out with a cat today. He agreed after remembering one we adopted before our last cat but had to give back cuz of a big issue i couldn't deal with. pee on bed. My boyfriend said ok marrow we'll both go & meet the kitties & fill out paper work & he came back home. I went to the office with our dog & explained to the lady i always go to talk to she understood & said ok just to let her know when the new kitty comes. Idk i just feel odd. I am glad logic helped me today but idk