Hi, JustWannaDisappear. You've been through the ringer, haven't you? It sounds as if both tdoc & pdoc have been working with you but neither have actually made a diagnosis. They mention BP, but has either actually diagnosed you as having any specific disorder? Bipolar disorder or anything else?

Until they have a diagnosis, you don't know what you're dealing with. I don't blame you for wanting to disappear. Talk with your doctors & try to become clear about what you're facing.

If you do in fact have bipolar disorder, & pdoc can get a med regime that works for you, you may not want to skip the drugs. I take two--Cymbalta & Topamax--& at the moment they are doing fine for me. At some point they will need tweaking or changing, but pdoc & I have been thru that before & we work well on that as a team with my mdoc. It's been working for nearly three yrs now. I feel more normal now than I did for the previous 50 yrs without these meds. The trick is the right diagnosis then the right prescriptions! Maybe worth a try?

But first get your diagnosis. Take care. Let us know how you're doing.