okay, I was not sure I want to reply to this....


but in a way it seems that being assertive on the outside does not help that much... I mean... I have a rep of bad girl around here... around everywhere and yet I encountered attacks. I can put people in their place.... when it reaches certain point, but I don't enjoy it. I guess people can sense it "looky, a pacifist, let's attack". I will defend myself, but it I get hurt in the process too. I hate to use play dirty, even if resort to it if there is no other way.

I guess the goal is to learn to let go, learn to put on defense shield and not to open up to everybody immediatelly. Of course it will not make you non-attackable... but it will eliminate some of it... You can be caring and great person (from what I've seen of you, you are such person) and not be overly sweet to everybody you just met.