Yikes Janniebug, You are in a similar predicament to me! I have a "guy friend" at work that I am attracted to as well (if you read my post from below).

For me... I'd go out on a "real date" with the guy I work with if he asked me. However, it seems to be working best for me to just enjoy him at work for now and let the frienship grow outside of work walls. We have gone to a movie before and we may go ride horses this weekend. Somehow I feel that if we enjoy each other's company and spend time together without the pressure of "dating" our friendship has better potential to grow into a lifetime relationship. Time spent together is the ground on which familiarity, trust will grow. After that romance?

About your friend... try to keep her stuff on her side of the fence if you can. She may have had a reaction, but you didn't cause the reaction. I'm not sure where the line of sensitivity of others crosses the line of caretaking and codependency. That's one of the areas I am still growing in.