Quote:
Originally Posted by kasva
Hi....it's been a while since we've been in the forums. Things were going pretty smoothly for a while, comparatively speaking from before that.
Anyways, we have did and we've been mostly co conscious for quite a while. About 2 weeks ago we noticed communication between our parts was smoother. And that we weren't as scared to do some things that really used to scare us. So we tried working more internally and tried using the smoother communication to do a thing that is hard for us. Our t and I started talking about integration. Not lose all our parts kind of integration but parts still being there and not having the walls up between the parts.
My little ones are freaking out. They don't want to go away.
I don't know if this is the beginning of the walls coming down or the beginning of integration or the beginning of us going crazy again?
We're hoping people might have ideas or experiences that they can relate to us to help us?
we is rlle skrd an md an skrd an sd
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Im an integrated person. none of my alters died or went away. everyone experiences integration differently because everyone has their own way that their system of alters are. So I cant tell you which integrates when. I can tell you what happened with me. first I was all these alters with their own way to be with no co consciousness, and a very few alters that I had some co consciousness with. the ones I could here were the ones that integrated with me first. I couldnt communicate with them or make them do anything or have them come out on demand or anything like that. but I could hear their voices. when I hears what they were saying I tried to take care of that problem. I did that for a long time then one day after taking care of this one voices problems for a while I didnt hear that voice anymore. at first it scared me to have no voice in my head talking about the things that voice would say. I picked up the phone and called my therapist. she helped me calm down and then she asked me questions about things that alter that belonged to that voice knew and I didnt before. but that day on the phone I knew the answers to every one of my therapists questions. I started crying this time because I was happy. that alter didnt die or go away, that alter was joined with me now. Everything that was that alter was now me too. I was so happy. I wasnt going to be dissociating into that alter anymore because she was now together with me. this alter integrating with me made my life easier, less complicated and I had more time to accomplish things I needed to. what happened with that alter integrating with me happened with each one of my alters over about a yr or more space of time. each integration was that fast that simple and that easy. with each integration I had to learn how to deal with being an integrated person that no longer heard that voice. no longer dissociated into those separate alters. there was no need for their voices and dissociating because they were right here with me.
Talk with your treatment providers they know you and will be able to tell you a bit more about integration and how they expect it to be for you.
