hello and welcome (again) gulas. I think it's amazing that you have been able to function well at your job without having any meds. Also good since alcohol and meds together can be a disaster. What are your interests? I know it will sound cliche and you have heard it a million times over, but are there any groups or hobbies that you can explore? We all have our own beliefs, but when I was where you are, I started attending a meditation class and learning those techniques helped me calm down and be more comfortable alone at home. That meditation class also introduced me to other people and encouraged me to inch away from the friends who were part of my bad habits and find new ones who were much healthier and supportive.