i agree with leed. it sounds as tho you have self esteem issues that you can resolve. sometimes i just am content and serene not necesarily "happy" and that's helpful to me in good times and bad.
Quote:
people with low self-esteem tend to be less confident that other people perceive them in a positive light. They doubt whether strangers will like them, and they’re not sure if the people they’re close to will continue to like/love/accept/want them.
What’s important to note about low self esteem is that most people with “low self esteem” don’t see themselves consistently negatively. Most people with low self esteem are probably better described as having “fluctuating self esteem.”
Their self esteem might depend on their mood or what’s happened that day, or they might have OK self esteem in some domains and problem self esteem in other domains (e.g. they might be confident about their self worth in the work domain but not in the relationships domain or friendship domain).
|
perhaps you can relate to the quote. if so it may clarify what's going on with you. the positive side is that you can develop more self esteem which in turn eliminates your needing to be worried sara doesn't accept you/love u. here's some ways to accomplish that.
Quote:
- Be curious. When you are stuck in fear you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people. When you shift to being curious your perceptions go SWOOSH! and the world just opens up. Curiosity is filled with anticipation and enthusiasm. It opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your fear. How do you become more curious? One way is to remember how life has become more fun in the past thanks to your curiosity and to remember all the cool things it helped you to discover and experience.
- Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation. As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication. When you get too identified with your thoughts you’ll believe anything they tell you. A more helpful practise may be to not take your thoughts too seriously. A lot of the time they and your memory are pretty inaccurate.
|
i hope these descriptions and tips may be helpful in overcoming your fears and insecurity. keep in mind this is just my interpretation of your post. i wish you well. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
|