That sense of loss of being in control is only going to make you feel worse. There must be something in the air- a lot of people are needing a physical release at the mo. I always kept a razor hidden away just in case, and if I couldn't find it or if I thought someone might find it I paniced. It is a good thing your mum took the blade away- that is one less scar to have to hide. Have you tried going to your room and doing as many sit ups as you can? That is a new release I am using, as it is a physical activity that can be done in the privacy of whatever room you choose in the house, it releases those 'wonderful' endorphines' and the pain after the first 20, 50 or however many you set yourself to do helps with the urges. I hope things settle down for you tonight, and I am off now to take my own advice!!!