My Support Forums - View Single Post - Hostility toward the vulnerable, the childlike

AAAAA · Oct 08, 2011, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junerain

I work wonderfully with adults, cooperating, interacting with them on an adult plane. I have a wonderful situation in life; I am responisible, not quite 'serious,' but I do not see the need in that quality.

I was trying to describe the quality of genuiness, of honesty, of not wearing a 'mask' when I used the word child. I do wear a mask, but with people that I have grown close with, friends, of course I do not.

To use the words 'false' and 'unsympathetic' to describe me are the very opposite of who I am. I work with kids for a living, I am real with them, I am very sympathetic to their needs, listening intently, empathetically, helping them reach their goals.

Seems you took one word, 'childlike,' and ran with it. The traits of empathy, caring and thoughtful, are very adult-like traits I possess. I never ask for preferential treatment. I have been very, very good to many people over the years, and never once asked for anything in return.

Perhaps that is because the only thing that could be considered… annoying, provoking, or irritating in your description of yourself was the word “childlike”. I did not understand what you meant by being “childlike” myself.

To me childlike means the inability to mature, the inability to see the consequences of ones actions, inappropriate behavior and or affect when speaking. I have met people like this but they have been mentally challenged. I can see how it would be annoying for someone to choose to act that way, but obviously that was not your definition. By your definition I would too be considered childlike, but I call it a lack of a filter. I say what is on my mind, I do not lie, in fact I cannot lie. I hate it when someone asks me what I think of their new hair style or clothing because if I do not like it I attempt to evade the question, I cannot look then in the eye and start talking about the weather or something equally mundane. It has caused many hurt feelings in the past. I would not say anything behind your back that I would not say directly to your face.

So given the new information, I may have an answer for you. It has been my experience that people do not like overly direct people. It makes them uncomfortable for some reason. In my own life I try to keep my opinion to myself unless asked directly. Even then I do try to follow the “if you cannot say something nice, do not say anything at all.” I try anyway. One of my oldest friends still gets irritated from time to time. She’ll complain about her husband (now ex) and kids and make the mistake of saying “what should I do?” Well I tell her. Then she gets angry and says she knows what she should do, she just wants to vent. Well, then you must make that clear from the beginning. I can say “aw, uh huh, oh my” if that’s what you need to hear, just don’t ask me what I think you should do because it is out of my mouth before my brain has the chance to process it. We are both hearing it for the first time together.