I'm feeling better after several months of depression and have committed myself to getting out more and interacting/socializing a bit with people in my neighborhood. I feel like I'm ready and I'm taking it slow. I live in a very active community and there are things to do everyday (exercise classes, card playing, volunteer organizations, sports, etc.) if one so chooses. Anyway, I've made a few acquaintances with women in my age-group. So what I've noticed is just how far down the slope I've descended. These woman have nicely organized homes, stay busy with activities, seem balanced and happy. It's not like they're "superwomen" or anything, it's just that they seem to take things in stride and get on with it. Then I come home to see my "unfinished" projects, the things I've avoided and procrastinated about, the beautiful clothes in my messy closet which don't fit anymore since I've gained 25 lbs., etc. Then I start to feel guilty and angry about having BP and I start to lose a grip on my "improved functioning" because I feel like such a loser compared to these normal women who seem to function well. I've lost so much ground with this disease. Even though I'm feeling better it's like I'm behind the Eight Ball. It is so discouraging sometimes...