He probably doesn't want you to go to AA meetings because you could tell them he is still drinking and he won't be able to lie about being sober.

I don't see much future in the relationship until he takes personal responsibility for his behavior. You don't have to let him say those things to you and saying that he 'only' does it when he is drunk is enabling him to continue both the drinking and the way he treats you.

You can do what you want but if I were in that situation I would end the relationship.

Best of luck.