i know i need to go to a psychologist but i have already gone to one from around 3 years and i never work he give meds and they never worked so i stopped going and stop taking the meds and to be honest i dont want to go to another pdoc that make me feel the same .

i was diagnosed with depression when i was 18 now im 21years old but after i stop taking the meds i star to feel this euphorics states where i am so happy and anything is possible and i want to be with people and im talk and laugh more than the usual i try to control myself so other people dont realize my changes but sometimes is hard then i feel horrible very depressed im so much in agony and i think about killing myself ,but the episodes are not for weeks but for days sometimes hours ,sometimes 2 days im happy then miserable others 1 hour happy then next hour depressed ,and i have this states where i feel i can cry and laugh and the same time like a couple of minutes ago i could cry and laugh run and lie down all at the same time, is so confusing ,i stop myself from doing it because i have a roommate but sometimes i feel im going to lose it ,this has being happening for around 5 months and to add a new symptom since last week i lost my temper really quick with people and things, the other day the computer was having troubles and i was so angry i started to curse and hit the desk and i feel the need to take the screen and throw it against the wall,or if someone say something i dont like im quick to let them know i dont like it my answers are becoming aggressive suddenly i become very angry and fast so fast that i takes me by surprise and then is gone and im not angry .my only diagnosis is depression but i feel out of control.can depression make you feel like this?

sorry from my bad punctuation but i have dislexia.