Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free
I was at a dinner party last night and had to leave because I got triggered(they were talking about relationships and marriage and one guy got kinda graphic). Well, when I got home, I realized that anxiety and anger had begun to surface. I still have to call my friend back(the dinner party was at her house). I did all sorts of things to take care of myself today but now am stuck: My therapist has off tomorrow so I don't go in until Tuesday. I wrote her a letter(was going to fax it) saying that I needed to rest of the week off because I didn't want to come in and project, get angry, or deal with negative transference because she has been in relationships(she is married now) and I have never been in one. I feel extremely stuck and am really trying to help myself but right now I feel like isolating - how can she possible understand or even help me when she has been in relationships herself?
Should I skip therapy this week or go in? I really need some advice because I want to do the right thing.
Thanks!
|
There's that old saw that anytime you don't want to go to therapy is when you need to go the most.
I don't know that our T's can ever fully understand what anything is like for us. My marriage is not his marriage, etc etc. Just because you haven't yet been in a relationship doesn't mean that people who are married or in relationships can't understand what you're going through. After all, each one of us was once "never in a relationship" and most of us have had pretty substantial periods between relationships too. And lots of people, myself included, married later in life, so I was single for a long time. I know what it's like to be in a group of couples when you are single and it can really suck, even if you're not all that interested in being in one.
Don't avoid your feelings. Thinking that your T won't understand is really just an excuse to avoid them. Look your feelings in the eye, bring them closer to you, watch their power over you loosen its grip.
Anne