Hi Nixi
I have had addictions. And my mom is an alcoholic. I have been to some joint AA meetings when I was in Al-anon. Supposedly people do not have to drink every day to be alcoholics. Or I have heard that people can be alcoholics even if they just drink 2 drinks a night. Beer, wine and regular alcohol. I have heard that alcoholism is a self diagnosed condition. So maybe no one could tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. I cant say for sure.

I did find a website where you might be able to get a sense of weather or not you are an alcoholic. http://www.alcoholscreening.org/Home...FQXe4Aod-EbkSA This is what the website says about themselves:
"AlcoholScreening.org is a free service of Join Together, a project of The Partnership at DrugFree.org and Boston University School of Public Health." So it sounds very legit to me.

Finally, some amazing and wonderful people are alcoholics. I understand you feel ashamed. But often shame is one of the things thats at the root of why so many people, self medicate with alcohol, drugs, food or behaviors. I am a food addict. And I used to be addicted to cigarettes. I wish you lots of luck