It sounds like your brother is set in his selfish ways, and unfortunately will have to learn on his own the consequences of his actions. Maybe it's best that you DON'T have a relationship with him, at least for the time being. Since your brother makes no effort to treat your father decently, why not offset that with a phone call once a week, a letter, or a nice card? If you already do that for your father, then you're well on your way to making him feel special, in spite of all the stress. ((((wi_fighter))))