I feel down and I feel jealous of my boyfriend who has a job and other people because they have jobs. I'm unemployed and I am trying to look for work. I keep applying but I keep getting nos. I went to a interview but I got rejected and I cut myself as I felt upset. I keep feeling like I am a mistake and that life wasn't meant for me. I'm sorry to sound stupid but I feel like sometimes I shouldn't be on this earth. I want to do something to do with childcare or working in a shop but I don't know what to do. It be better if I do try to hurt myself, if I'm not here, It be better for other people. I hate this feeling. I tried to pray but I don't think I have been heard. I'm just a bad person and I shouldn't be on this earth. I know my mum hates me. She keeps calling me names. I think of suicide and death :S I know all this stupid. I can't tell my boyfriend this otherwise he'll think I don't love him. I wish I was shot at birth