Ygrec,I had no idea this was happening in your life.Did she assault you b4 she began to utilize the alzheimer related meds?

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_diseas...alzheimers.asp

I have known men who are/were abused.This is a very real issue that often doesn't get the attention or regard it deserves.It is AS wrong to hit a man as it is to hit a woman.

I have in the past,had situations where my son stole from my house,or husband beat my sons or animals,and though I did not want the focus on my household from neighbors,I felt that if I accepted these things,then I was to remain a victim,and that those who suffered under the abuse would remain a victim,and that it was my right/responsibility to show them that w/o a doubt,the law stood against this abuse,and there'd be consequences.

I would seriously suggest that you call the PD,in private,and ask them if they would have a talk w/ her.Telling her what the potential consequences are for these behaviors,and tell her you have decided to take a stand.

Even destroying property in the house is grounds for domestic violence.I imagine you love her,I know that being with someone that long creates very mixed feelings when things fall to bits,I hear you when you say that she "may" have alzheimers.

But,the 'place' that her abuse is coming from is not random.It is calculated.It is a very selfish place inside her,and is as evolved as when a child doesn't get 'that toy',not as if she can't function intellectually properly,and you do not deserve this.

The only way this is going to stop is if she receives the proper consequences,which is a visit from p.d.

I think if you told her that 'From this point,if/when you lay your hands on me or destroy things in the house these are the consequences...." in front of an officer,then it will be her choice when the consequences occur.

I am so sorry that you are under this emotional/physical duress Ygrec,you don't deserve it,no one does.Physical violence is against the law,and there are other behavioral choices she can make.

You know,if they arrested her,it'd be an almost 'right away' release,and a visit in court where a judge could demand she receive counseling or other intervention.