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Old Oct 10, 2011, 10:37 AM
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beautiful.mess beautiful.mess is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago
Posts: 324
Wow, what you wrote is so eloquent and so profound. It really spoke to me as I can relate.

My T always tells me that I have so much insight and in response to that I tell him that I know I have the insight, but that's about where it stops. What then? What's next? What do I DO with that insight? He never really answers that question. I'm beginning to think the answer to that is that I need to go out on a limb and ask for what I need and/or want. Which is the LAST thing I want to do because on some unconscious level I know (read: think) that what I'm asking for is unreasonable. Too much. Just plain wrong. Heck, I'm going to go two steps back and say that even ASKING or THINKING OF ASKING for something is wrong and that it's not going to get me to where I want to go anyway so why bother.

It's a dichotomy of being so simple and yet so complicated at the same time. I hear you though Ygrec.

Beautiful piece of music btw.