I find it interesting that holding her hand is comforting to you. I want them to stay far away from me physically (I would like an iron grate and concrete walls) at all times, but the idea of having my hand held would make me feel trapped (I am not big on holding hands even with my partner- I can only tolerate it for a few minutes). It is really nice (I think) that your t did hold your hand and it is good you know it is comforting with her and other people.