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Old Oct 10, 2011, 12:13 PM
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mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Defenses were certainly not the first things that I worked through. I've been working on myself for over 20 years (the last 15 without a therapist). I worked on boundaries, self worth, meeting my needs, living in the present, becoming empowered, learning how to express my feelings and unloading the backlog, social skills and triggers, etc. I worked on whatever was bothering me at the time. Defenses just came to the top recently.

I worked on the defenses by being aware of myself and how I was using the defenses. The defenses that I was using were 2 of the mature ones - the altruism and introjection (Identifying with some idea or object so deeply that it becomes a part of that person) (I was introjecting my values) . I had absolutely no awareness of these until I read this exact article. After I became aware that I was using these defenses it was making the subconscious conscious and my need for the defenses left me, most likely because they were just habit and i really didn't need them anymore because of all of the other work that I had done to fix so much. When these defenses left me the anxiety that went with them left me also.

Mcl, can you identify which defenses that you are using? Are you aware of yourself most of the time? (This is the learning to live in the moment stuff I talked about above).
Thank you for asking! Yes, I am aware (to the extent that any of us is..who has done a lot of mindfulness and training around that...it has taken YEARS! ) I know that I rely really heavily on humor and altruism (worked many years in a cause-based world saving everyone else ) but I wish that my T and I could have talked very directly about why I rely so heavily on these things instead of more self-care (which I am doing now..I have huge resistance to even allowing myself to have a bubble bath --no time -- or a massage --no money). I would love to have processed with a T what my defenses are, and to talk about my family of origin issues with regard to defenses (my mother is in huge denial about my brother's mental illness, for example). i think this is an inspiring place for me to go, and I thank you for bringing this to my attention. I've got some reading to do (while in bubble bath!).