Sannah: no, I got a terrible outcome by hiding my needs! I guess there were some payoffs though. You've posted this to me before. I didn't tell my Mom my problems, so I didn't get comforted. Who is to blame, her or me? Or is just was the way it was?

skysblue: Years ago I wanted to hold my first Ts hand but she didn't allow touch. I was worried it would feel sexual so I wanted to know. We didn't talk about it much. I told my former T I thought about holding her hands, but she didn't do touch either.

My current T told me she allows hugs but I didn't want any! The holding hands came up when my eyes were closed and we were doing IFS about a child part who was feeling sad and alone. I remember my T asking what could she or I do to help? What does that part need? I hesitated for a LONG time and said "she wants you to hold her hand". I was scared to say that! My T asked me if I wanted that, to be sure, or something to that effect, because I sounded tentative, and I probably nodded. Next thing I knew she was sitting next to me on the couch, holding my hand! My eyes were still closed, as that's how we do IFS. I remember how good it felt, but I was so embarrassed!! My T said touch was healing, and if that's what that part needs to heal, that's what we'll do. I was so afraid it would feel sexual, but it didn't. It just felt safe and nice.

Thanks for asking.